Man-date Modesty

At least some people have started to see something and say something about the female public flaunting tidal wave that has been gathering strength since the late nineties.  For instance, the gay Fashionista Simon Doonan in his book Creating an insanely more fabulous you – Eccentric Glamour, exclaims, “Say no to ho and yes to eccentric glamour.”

It appears, however, that few in the fashion industry go far enough with their guidance to explicitly separate out behavior appropriate for females who are sexually available from what’s appropriate for those who are not.  With all the attention and focus on being a sex object no one seems to be concerned with the need to turn one’s sex object switch to the off position when sexually unavailable and not with one’s partner.  Until now that is.  It’s all about regaining control, not suppression.  “No” will no longer be a foreign word to those females who seem perplexed when confronted with it.

Like those growing number of females for whom body image is a much bigger priority than girlfriend image.  In other words, it is more important to appear “very sexy” than to make it clear that you are not sexually available.  Imagine that if instead of focusing on being an object of sex, the female focused on what image is the right one to attract a boyfriend by showing how she understands the power of her femininity.  And once she has promised moral monogamy, imagine if she projected the image that she actually has a boyfriend and that she is no longer sexually available.

This would knock down the fully covered Dog Males at the get go, leashing them at much safer distances, as the female’s covered flesh proceeds to diffuse their hormonal desire to touch her.  In fact, as already alluded to, if the female were to actually cover herself just like the male, perhaps body image concerns would become less of a concern, especially if the female is paying her way (at least during the March Mandate).

What I do know is that a modesty movement regarding female sex presentations is on the rise, even if it has stopped short of factoring in one’s sexually available status at the moment.  The Pure Fashion organization is promoting “a deeper beauty” over excessive booty sex presentations.  Jayne O’Donnell in USA Today writes, “Brenda Sharman, who became national founder of the teen girl group Pure Fashion in 2006, already knew public sentiment was starting to lean in favor of her modesty mission.  However, she didn't think there would be much concern about low necklines and high hemlines in a time of staggering economic pressure and spiraling unemployment.  But now she believes the economy has become a boon.  ‘Fashion's in our court right now,’ says Sharman, a former model.”

“‘Fashion's in our court right now,’ says Sharman, a former model.  Pure Fashion has about 700 members who work as models at spring teen fashion shows that attract about 11,000 people.  The group has affiliates in 10 countries and is signing new groups on its website, purefashion.com.  ‘Girls need to understand: What they wear sends a message,’ Sharman says [my emphasis.]”  An automatic seat on the Council will most likely be in store for Ms. Sharman.

As discussed in Chapter 7, “Mechanical Females,” a very typical female defense statement is, “This is the way you met me.”  The female is likely to state this when her current boyfriend expresses any concerns about the way she is dressing for work or a girls’ night out.  Last Call believes this is a suitable defense, which the female should follow by acknowledging that she was obviously sexually available when they first met, whether officially or not.  That status brought with it the desire to communicate it through the way she dressed and acted while out in public.

However, upon agreeing to moral monogamy with the latest male partner, she is officially no longer sexually available.  It is at this point that the female needs to think about what actions she should take toward modifying her sex presentations when without her new male partner in public.

If Last Call has its way, the sexually unavailable female will no longer present a public image driven by the statement “I just need to feel good about myself.”  Instead she will be inspired by the Modesty Mandate:

I will respect the moral monogamy promise I have with my boyfriend.  When he is not present, I will not expose my breast, midriff, buttocks, or elongated thigh flesh, unless very close to or in swimming water.  I will also avoid elevating my buttocks by more than 3.5 inches, thus conscientiously lessening the magnitude of sexual attention I receive when he is not present.  I will instead feel very sexy by styling my hair, eyes, lips, fingernails and toenails, and by other modest means, including certain flesh displays that are in proportion to the flesh displays of the third-party males around me, as outlined in the “Vanity Guidelines” table within Last Call.

Learning by example, the female will defer to her male partner on how easy it is to feel good about oneself without showing any private part flesh, in other words, without presenting one’s sexuality in public.  Fitness, emotional confidence, manners and respectful behavior are the key, all very human traits, not just masculine traits.  Regardless, the Modesty Mandate explicitly recognizes the differences in fashion and need for attention between males and females, and encourages those differences, but with some common sense adjustments.

Table 14.4 provides the guidelines.  If most of the males present are not displaying A, then the monogamy-practicing female, when without her partner, will conscientiously aim to not display B:

As for those foot-flesh displaying open-toe shoes, please continue to leave your socks at home, no matter what the third-party males are doing (unless at work in a non-sex sells job position).  In a similar light, clunking past or nearby others in those modest-height heels is fair game as well, so no worries about losing out on those automatic glances those clunks are known to generate towards oneself.  However, unless formally participating in a sanctioned and televised UFC fight, words on the seat of your pants are to be retired, at least until that buttocks becomes sexually available again.

Meanwhile, just because you are leaving your socks at home or retiring your buttocks advertisements, doesn’t mean you can leave your bra home too.  The Modesty Mandate calls for the sexually unavailable female to wear a full “stand-alone” bra when all third-party males are keeping their sex-oriented erectable body part equally concealed.  This includes wearing at least a sports bra under a work-out top while at the gym, unless one has absolutely no nipples.  Also, while making your way to the gym, a sweat suit or full breast flesh coverage top and long shorts should be worn at all times during transit, no matter the outdoor temperature.  Similar gear should be readily available for any delivery service scenarios, whether at home or when on vacation.

Of course any pool or beach scene allows for plenty of flesh display given how the surrounding males are shirtless and in shorts.  But this does not stop the modesty practicing sexually unavailable female from starting off with a reasonable cover-up ensemble while in transit, and keeping at least some of it handy while one is sunbathing or swimming at the moment.  Between focused use of one’s beach towel, and/or throwing one’s shorts and even top on before walking to the bathroom, bar, or shade, one will be sure to impress all with one’s modesty, not to mention confidence.

Outside of workout clothes, deliveries, and swimsuit cover-ups, any light-colored blouses or tops in general, are to be worn with a full coverage cami, tank top, or T-shirt – on top of one’s bra.  Likewise, for pants, dresses and skirts, if even just slightly transparent, are to be worn with either a full coverage panty at the minimum, and in the case of those sundresses which are fully capable of enlightening those opposite a significant light source, a “to the knee” slip will be there to save the secret of what kind of underwear one has chosen for the day.

Getting personal for another moment, more than one female I dated longer-term revealed to me that they sometimes wish they had smaller breasts or no breasts at all, given the effort it takes to manage them throughout her day.  Wearing a bra and keeping them covered at work is difficult enough, and often prohibits them from wearing fashions that less-blessed females could wear without giving away any breast flesh or erect nipple silhouettes.  While I completely understand, may I suggest that they try walking around with a small slinky between their legs for an entire day.

Recognizing that many females live to be admired, or at least seen, Last Call believes form-fitting outfits can be a good alternative to flesh-flaunting outfits.  This is definitely not to be confused with skin-tight, as in second skin-tight, fashion wear.  The type which incites whistles, even without any music playing in the background to whistle to.

Just like an enhancement bra—used for shaping—is a good alternative to the push-up bra used for the creation of fleshy cleavage.  If you need further convincing on why that bra alternative is the right choice, please recall the history lesson from Chapter 4, “People Points.”  Body language experts Mr. and Ms. Pease explained how the female’s breasts developed once the species was no longer on all fours, doing a very nice job in replicating one’s rear end.

Also, the monogamous female can feel good about herself while in bright colorful clothing, especially wearing the color red, which recent research has shown to have more power to attract males than other colors.  Yes, men who participated in this University of Rochester study found women more attractive and sexually desirable when they wore red.  They even said they would “treat them to a more expensive evening.”  The researchers took a photo of a woman who got high scores for her looks and altered the color of her shirt.  When she was wearing red, she got higher ratings.  The Council’s final ruling will most likely be to go for it, as long as all of that red is covering one’s flesh according to Last Call’s recommended guidelines.

In response to my theories about clothing, a female acquaintance once asked me, “Well Paul, are you going to buy your girlfriend a whole new wardrobe?”  The good news: the female is now purchasing so many outfits each fashion season, that just through her natural “new clothes” cycle she can bring modesty back to her wardrobe within six, if not three, months.

One key to this strategy is that all gift-giving female friends need to be made aware of the fact that one is no longer sexually available.  If that is not possible, the gift-receiving female should simply elect to wear the more seductive gifts only when her monogamous male partner is present.  Even more good news, the Modesty Mandate does not restrict the number of hours per month the female: shops for herself, spends deciding and talking with her girlfriends about what to wear, applies cosmetics, blows out her hair, or is serviced at the spa.  Whew.

Before moving on, it is important to note that respect is a critical part of the Modesty Mandate.  The female who voluntarily abides by the mandate no longer needs to think or say “This is the way you met me” or “This is the way I am,” or my number one favorite “Nobody tells me how to dress.”  Instead, she will be able to focus on such thoughts as: “When I first met my male partner, he charmed me, not to mention wined, dined, entertained and transported me.  And even with all the money and power he generated through hard work and wisdom, he has elected not to use any of it on other females, half-naked or otherwise.  My body is now the only body that physically arouses him in person.  That is why I have adopted the Modesty Mandate!”

Since office dress codes also serve the purpose of toning down sex presentations, some of forbes.com’s rules can serve as a good reminder for females following the Modesty Mandate.  These rules strongly recommend that too much cleavage, too-short skirts, exposed undergarments and see-through clothes are “must avoids” in the office.  They also point out that “bringing the beach into the office” by wearing sundresses, spaghetti straps or flip-flops are definitely a no-no.  Ill-fitting clothes creating peek-a-boob moments with a button-down top are also to be avoided.

Why?  Because they can cause you to be passed over for a job or promotion, despite what the female might believe otherwise.  “The way you dress affects how others view you.  It’s nothing personal, just business.”  Excluding the flip-flops restriction, those same rules can be used anywhere to cut down on added sexual attention from third-party males, especially when consuming alcohol without one’s partner.  It’s nothing personal, just human sexuality.

Manufacturers and retailers who appear to know how to keep the "private" in "private parts" year round:

American Eagle
Banana Republic
Eddie Bauer
L.L. Bean
Land's End